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| Question: Why are some kids mean? |
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| Grandma’s Answer: Kids are kids. |
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| Question: I am starting in a new school and I’m worried about making friends and being liked. What do I do? |
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| Grandma’s Answer: Change is always difficult. We like to be familiar with everything around us because it gives us confidence in “knowing what to expect”. So, first get acquainted with the physical surroundings of your new school, ie where the cafeteria, library, auditorium, gym are so that you are comfortable there. Then start watching the other kids in your class to see who is most like you. Don’t rush into new friendships, take your time. Start conversations about homework and work your way up to what their interests are to see if they are in line with yours. Branch out to other people as time goes by and soon you’ll be “in” with the people you’ve chosen. A word of caution: beware of behaving like somebody else just to be accepted. Be “you”. It’s important to be true to yourself, first and always. |
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| Question: My parents want to send me to a private school instead of the public school I go to. I’m not sure I want to do this since I’m pretty happy here. They say I’ll have a better education there. |
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| Grandma’s Answer: Have you visited this school yet? I suggest that you compare them. Make a list of what you like about the school you now attend. Then check it against the possible new one. How do they compare? Do you know anybody that goes there? Why or why not do they like it? Is there some reason you are hesitant about making the change? Maybe it’s just having to ‘change’; change is difficult for all of us. Once you decide, have a heart to heart talk with your parents. Let me know how you made out. |
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| Question: I’m not popular in school, don’t play sports, and not good looking. How can I get people to like me? |
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| Grandma’s Answer: Wow, it sounds like you’ve pretty much given up on yourself! Not being popular has nothing to do with your looks or your athleticism. Yes, it’s true that sometimes popularity comes with those things, but it doesn’t last long if you’re not a good friend. To be a good friend you must first be a friend to yourself. I know that may sound confusing, but if you don’t like who you are, how do you expect other people to like you? When we are born we each are unique and have a purpose in this world. It’s important to recognize that over anything else! Make a list of STRENGTHS that you have, i.e. intelligent, have a good voice, play the drums, courageous, strong; whatever comes to mind. Look over your list and appreciate these strengths from the position of someone who hasn’t got them. It will give you perspective and help you to see your worth. Begin by noticing people who have similar interests to you. Make small conversations and be sure that you LISTEN to them. People love to talk about themselves. Give this approach at least three months. I think it will work for you. |
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| Question: My social life takes up so much time I can’t study and my grades are starting to suffer. What do I do? |
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| Grandma’s Answer: Your question is easy to answer! Study more and get your grades back up! Apparently you are bright, because you use to have good grades. My question for you is this: Why would you sacrifice your future for the sake of being temporarily more popular right now? You are only a year or two away from graduation. Are you planning on going to college? Have you thought about your career in the future? Many kids can socialize and get away with little study, but they are few and far between. Sit down and have a silent talk with yourself. Write down where you want to be in three years. Then write down the outcomes of continuing your social life as it is now, verses studying to achieve the level of success that is required of you to accomplish your dreams. Another important question you need to ask yourself is: Where will my friends be in three years? Are they wanting the same kind of life I want? Your choices are important here. Don’t underestimate your potential. |
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| Question: I am a senior in high school and my parent want me to go to college. I am not interested in more school. I want to relax for a while. Any suggestions? |
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| Grandma’s Answer: Your reason for not wanting to go to college is pretty lame. At 17, the last thing you should need to do is relax. If you want to have some time to mature and decide what you really want to do with your life, then I suggest that you get in a work program or apprenticeship in a craft like plumbing, carpentry or the military. Anything you do should be meaningful and help you to gain skills and develop your life so that you are a contributing member to society. You have a purpose; don’t squander your potential. Write a list of what you think would make you happy and productive and take charge of your life. |
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| Question: I am shorter than all the boys in school and am embarrassed about it. I hate to be called ‘shorty’ all the time. How do I get them to stop? |
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| Grandma’s Answer: There is little we can do about our physical height, though at 14 you may not have reached your full growth. You are sensitive to being short because kids who have defined you by your height have insensitively decided to give you that nickname. But your height is not what will define you as a person as you go through life unless you get “stuck” there and choose to keep this physical characteristic as “top of the list” important to yourself. You can choose to shift the emphasis to other characteristics and talents that you possess and that are under your control. If you become first in your class academically, perhaps the nickname would switch to “Einstein”. The point is, you have to discover your talents and live purposefully to become the best you can be with those skills. In adulthood, you will be a ‘musician’, an ‘actor’, an ‘electrician’, a ‘businessman’; these are labels assigned to you through life. They usually reflect your accomplishments or occupation. Right now, at age 14, you are being defined strictly by your height. It isn’t easy to overlook cruelty, but it is the wisest approach for you to take. Reacting with negativity will only increase your anxiety and make you believe that indeed, your height is all that counts for your entire life and consequently you are a victim, which you are not. As you establish what is important in your life, you will develop your attributes and realize that you are the one who determines what will define you, not your peers. |
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