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| Question: My parents want to send me to a private school instead of the public school I go to. I’m not sure I want to do this since I’m pretty happy here. They say I’ll have a better education there. |
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| Grandma’s Answer: Have you visited this school yet? I suggest that you compare them. Make a list of what you like about the school you now attend. Then check it against the possible new one. How do they compare? Do you know anybody that goes there? Why or why not do they like it? Is there some reason you are hesitant about making the change? Maybe it’s just having to ‘change’; change is difficult for all of us. Once you decide, have a heart to heart talk with your parents. Let me know how you made out. |
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| Question: We are poor compared to others. How can I become like my friends and get new clothes, shoes etc.? |
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| Grandma’s Answer: Well it sounds like your lack of wealth isn’t keeping you from having friends, so that’s a good thing. One doesn’t really have much to do with the other anyway. What is important is that it sounds like you want to dress more like your friends dress. You are certainly old enough to make money to buy these things! When I was your age, my mother taught me to iron clothes. I took this skill and ironed clothes for people in our neighborhood. I also cleaned houses, collected bottles, and babysat. If you are in a winter climate, you can shovel sidewalks in the winter and weed in the summer. I’m glad you don’t feel sorry for yourself about being poor; it only leads to feeling like a victim, which is unhealthy and untrue. Ambition never holds those feelings. Go do it and good luck! |
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| Question: I am a senior in high school and my parent want me to go to college. I am not interested in more school. I want to relax for a while. Any suggestions? |
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| Grandma’s Answer: Your reason for not wanting to go to college is pretty lame. At 17, the last thing you should need to do is relax. If you want to have some time to mature and decide what you really want to do with your life, then I suggest that you get in a work program or apprenticeship in a craft like plumbing, carpentry or the military. Anything you do should be meaningful and help you to gain skills and develop your life so that you are a contributing member to society. You have a purpose; don’t squander your potential. Write a list of what you think would make you happy and productive and take charge of your life. |
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| Question: I hate my parents. They always tell me what to do. I’m ready to run away. |
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| Grandma’s Answer: You are at an age where you feel that it’s time for you to have more freedom and independence in your life. This is not unusual, and in fact it is healthy to begin this process of growing up, since that is the goal in your life: to acquire skills, gain responsibility, be trusting, dependable; a whole list of characteristics that are needed to be mature, moral, ethical, productive, a good citizen etc.. Your parents, on the other hand, have a responsibility to help you gain all these characteristics, and they have from birth to adulthood to teach you and to be models from which you will learn. The question is this: how are your performing in terms of acquiring those characteristics? Does your behavior demonstrate that you don not need direction any more? Seems that at your age you have some maturing to do yet. Perhaps you can ask your parents to talk with you about what they expect of you. Maybe they are expecting more than you can give; maybe you are not performing at a maturity level that is appropriate. There obviously is an imbalance, and you all need to discuss it. Running away is not the answer to solving your problem; in fact, you will create more problems that could be much worse. Remember, it is your life and you need to learn how to cope with difficulties and express yourself so that you will become the best that you can be in this world. It is survival so that you live your purpose. If your parents are not willing to discuss the situation, see a counselor in your school. |
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| Question: My mom is single and poor. How do I find her a husband? She has never married. |
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| Grandma’s Answer: Finding your mom a husband is not your responsibility. Why do you want her to marry? Are you looking for a ‘father’; a provider for your family; is your mom lonely; are you embarrassed that your mom is not married? From your question, it is difficult to really understand why you want her to marry. The only thing you can do is to help your family financially. You are not too young to find odd jobs in the neighborhood that you can do to earn money ( ironing, babysitting, housecleaning etc.) Pay for your own clothes and help with expenses as best you can. Be sure that you become a good student, since gaining skills is the pathway out of your financial situation. My family was very poor and I listened to my mom, who said that education was the most important thing to get in this world. Then you can get a job and good wages when you have reached adulthood. Until then, be ambitious and helpful to your mother. |
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