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| Results for My Friends |
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| Question: Why are some kids mean? |
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| Grandma’s Answer: Kids are kids. |
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| Question: I am starting in a new school and I’m worried about making friends and being liked. What do I do? |
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| Grandma’s Answer: Change is always difficult. We like to be familiar with everything around us because it gives us confidence in “knowing what to expect”. So, first get acquainted with the physical surroundings of your new school, ie where the cafeteria, library, auditorium, gym are so that you are comfortable there. Then start watching the other kids in your class to see who is most like you. Don’t rush into new friendships, take your time. Start conversations about homework and work your way up to what their interests are to see if they are in line with yours. Branch out to other people as time goes by and soon you’ll be “in” with the people you’ve chosen. A word of caution: beware of behaving like somebody else just to be accepted. Be “you”. It’s important to be true to yourself, first and always. |
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| Question: Some of my friends have started drinking after school and are pressuring me to join them. What can I do? |
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| Grandma’s Answer: Friends can put a lot of pressure on us in many circumstances. The first thing you have to ask yourself is, “Why does it matter to them if I drink with them or not?” Chances are they know they are going in an unwise direction with their life, and they need others to give them “safety in numbers”, which really doesn’t apply in this case. You need to stand your ground and not give into group pressure, for this or any other situation. Remember, you know who you are and what you want in your life. Be strong with your convictions and others will think most highly of you. |
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| Question: I am shorter than all the boys in school and am embarrassed about it. I hate to be called ‘shorty’ all the time. How do I get them to stop? |
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| Grandma’s Answer: There is little we can do about our physical height, though at 14 you may not have reached your full growth. You are sensitive to being short because kids who have defined you by your height have insensitively decided to give you that nickname. But your height is not what will define you as a person as you go through life unless you get “stuck” there and choose to keep this physical characteristic as “top of the list” important to yourself. You can choose to shift the emphasis to other characteristics and talents that you possess and that are under your control. If you become first in your class academically, perhaps the nickname would switch to “Einstein”. The point is, you have to discover your talents and live purposefully to become the best you can be with those skills. In adulthood, you will be a ‘musician’, an ‘actor’, an ‘electrician’, a ‘businessman’; these are labels assigned to you through life. They usually reflect your accomplishments or occupation. Right now, at age 14, you are being defined strictly by your height. It isn’t easy to overlook cruelty, but it is the wisest approach for you to take. Reacting with negativity will only increase your anxiety and make you believe that indeed, your height is all that counts for your entire life and consequently you are a victim, which you are not. As you establish what is important in your life, you will develop your attributes and realize that you are the one who determines what will define you, not your peers. |
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