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| Results for I'm age 12 - 14 |
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| Question: Why are some kids mean? |
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| Grandma’s Answer: Kids are kids. |
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| Question: Some of my friends have started drinking after school and are pressuring me to join them. What can I do? |
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| Grandma’s Answer: Friends can put a lot of pressure on us in many circumstances. The first thing you have to ask yourself is, “Why does it matter to them if I drink with them or not?” Chances are they know they are going in an unwise direction with their life, and they need others to give them “safety in numbers”, which really doesn’t apply in this case. You need to stand your ground and not give into group pressure, for this or any other situation. Remember, you know who you are and what you want in your life. Be strong with your convictions and others will think most highly of you. |
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| Question: My parents want to send me to a private school instead of the public school I go to. I’m not sure I want to do this since I’m pretty happy here. They say I’ll have a better education there. |
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| Grandma’s Answer: Have you visited this school yet? I suggest that you compare them. Make a list of what you like about the school you now attend. Then check it against the possible new one. How do they compare? Do you know anybody that goes there? Why or why not do they like it? Is there some reason you are hesitant about making the change? Maybe it’s just having to ‘change’; change is difficult for all of us. Once you decide, have a heart to heart talk with your parents. Let me know how you made out. |
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| Question: I’m not popular in school, don’t play sports, and not good looking. How can I get people to like me? |
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| Grandma’s Answer: Wow, it sounds like you’ve pretty much given up on yourself! Not being popular has nothing to do with your looks or your athleticism. Yes, it’s true that sometimes popularity comes with those things, but it doesn’t last long if you’re not a good friend. To be a good friend you must first be a friend to yourself. I know that may sound confusing, but if you don’t like who you are, how do you expect other people to like you? When we are born we each are unique and have a purpose in this world. It’s important to recognize that over anything else! Make a list of STRENGTHS that you have, i.e. intelligent, have a good voice, play the drums, courageous, strong; whatever comes to mind. Look over your list and appreciate these strengths from the position of someone who hasn’t got them. It will give you perspective and help you to see your worth. Begin by noticing people who have similar interests to you. Make small conversations and be sure that you LISTEN to them. People love to talk about themselves. Give this approach at least three months. I think it will work for you. |
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| Question: I’m fat and eat only fast food out almost every meal. What kind of fast food can I eat to lose weight? |
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| Grandma’s Answer: Are you living on the street or do you have a home to live in? If you are on the street, there are food shelters where you can get more balanced meals. There are also healthy choices now being offered in many fast food places; ask for the menu that shows the calories and fat intake for each meal. If you live at home, ask if you can be in charge of the evening meal. Take responsibility and go to the grocery store, buy vegetables, meat and fruit. This is much healthier and it will save you money. |
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| Question: I’ve missed my period two months in a row; am I pregnant and what can I do about it? |
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| Grandma’s Answer: How long have you been menstruating? Sometimes when you are beginning to have your period it is not regular, for many reasons. Your hormones may be changing; or you may do a lot of physical exercise, like running, which plays a role in regularity. The other question is, are you sexually active? The best thing you can do is get an appointment with a gynecologist as soon as possible. The doctor can answer your questions. |
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| Question: I hate my parents. They always tell me what to do. I’m ready to run away. |
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| Grandma’s Answer: You are at an age where you feel that it’s time for you to have more freedom and independence in your life. This is not unusual, and in fact it is healthy to begin this process of growing up, since that is the goal in your life: to acquire skills, gain responsibility, be trusting, dependable; a whole list of characteristics that are needed to be mature, moral, ethical, productive, a good citizen etc.. Your parents, on the other hand, have a responsibility to help you gain all these characteristics, and they have from birth to adulthood to teach you and to be models from which you will learn. The question is this: how are your performing in terms of acquiring those characteristics? Does your behavior demonstrate that you don not need direction any more? Seems that at your age you have some maturing to do yet. Perhaps you can ask your parents to talk with you about what they expect of you. Maybe they are expecting more than you can give; maybe you are not performing at a maturity level that is appropriate. There obviously is an imbalance, and you all need to discuss it. Running away is not the answer to solving your problem; in fact, you will create more problems that could be much worse. Remember, it is your life and you need to learn how to cope with difficulties and express yourself so that you will become the best that you can be in this world. It is survival so that you live your purpose. If your parents are not willing to discuss the situation, see a counselor in your school. |
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| Question: My mom is single and poor. How do I find her a husband? She has never married. |
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| Grandma’s Answer: Finding your mom a husband is not your responsibility. Why do you want her to marry? Are you looking for a ‘father’; a provider for your family; is your mom lonely; are you embarrassed that your mom is not married? From your question, it is difficult to really understand why you want her to marry. The only thing you can do is to help your family financially. You are not too young to find odd jobs in the neighborhood that you can do to earn money ( ironing, babysitting, housecleaning etc.) Pay for your own clothes and help with expenses as best you can. Be sure that you become a good student, since gaining skills is the pathway out of your financial situation. My family was very poor and I listened to my mom, who said that education was the most important thing to get in this world. Then you can get a job and good wages when you have reached adulthood. Until then, be ambitious and helpful to your mother. |
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| Question: I am shorter than all the boys in school and am embarrassed about it. I hate to be called ‘shorty’ all the time. How do I get them to stop? |
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| Grandma’s Answer: There is little we can do about our physical height, though at 14 you may not have reached your full growth. You are sensitive to being short because kids who have defined you by your height have insensitively decided to give you that nickname. But your height is not what will define you as a person as you go through life unless you get “stuck” there and choose to keep this physical characteristic as “top of the list” important to yourself. You can choose to shift the emphasis to other characteristics and talents that you possess and that are under your control. If you become first in your class academically, perhaps the nickname would switch to “Einstein”. The point is, you have to discover your talents and live purposefully to become the best you can be with those skills. In adulthood, you will be a ‘musician’, an ‘actor’, an ‘electrician’, a ‘businessman’; these are labels assigned to you through life. They usually reflect your accomplishments or occupation. Right now, at age 14, you are being defined strictly by your height. It isn’t easy to overlook cruelty, but it is the wisest approach for you to take. Reacting with negativity will only increase your anxiety and make you believe that indeed, your height is all that counts for your entire life and consequently you are a victim, which you are not. As you establish what is important in your life, you will develop your attributes and realize that you are the one who determines what will define you, not your peers. |
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